Daily Archives: May 2, 2012

The Cabin in the Woods the Review

Simply one of the best horror movies to come out in years. That’s my summary. Cabin is such a fun and inventive take on horror movies. The core of the movie is why people are horror fans; it’s intense, it’s creative, it’s funny. it keeps you guessing and you see people get fucked up.

It’s a mash up of the entire horror genre. The set up has been done forever: five college kids go to a cabin in the woods for a weekend break. Bad, mysterious things happen to be at the cabin waiting for them. The explanation and execution for the madness is such a good idea that it’s amazing it hasn’t been thought of before. But that’s usually the case, brilliant stuff is usually really simple and straight forward, it just takes the right mind to come up with it.

It’s best if that’s all you know about the movie before seeing it. The screenwriters tip their hat to countless horror movies and their established hooks and cliches. It’s like a amusement park ride that never physically moves you, but when it’s done you have a stupid grin on your face. Joss Whedon is on an unbelievable roll. Go see it!

The Cannonball Loop

New Jersey is full of urban legends, Action Park being one of them. But it’s not a legend, that place was real and it was CRAZY. Not in the good way. It was a water park built on a ski resort that had little to do with safety in mind when it was built. It’s hard to believe that the place was allowed to be opened let alone in use for nearly 20 years. I mean, people showed up every summer despite 6 deaths and countless injuries (mostly ripped flesh). The stories about the place were rampant and often exaggerated, but most of it had a true story behind it. It got the name “Traction Park” for a real reason. They advertised the shit out of the place too.

Cannonball Loop is the most notorious. And dangerous. I went to Action Park once, but drove by it a lot as it was on the way to my grandma’s house. I vividly remember seeing it there, long since closed. It was something that looked like it never should have been built, there was just no way it could work. I also remember wondering why there was no pool at the end of it, just this plot of land. It was like a torture device that was just left to rot. That article explains it. I remember getting a weird vibe from the place too, it just didn’t feel like a safe place. A lot of rickety construction, literal holes of water that had been turned into “rides” by putting a plank and a rope swing over a 20 foot drop. The place was a dump, I mean they left Cannonball Loop standing because it would have cost money to send it back to hell. I haven’t even mentioned the Alpine (read: concrete) Slide. That thing messed people up.

More in depth horror here! You have to read it to believe it.