Monthly Archives: May 2012

Immortals the Review

I’m a sucker for Greek and Roman mythology/time period movies and shows. It’s an intresting period that lends itself to the cinematic lens. Greek gods are always cool, I’ve been a fan with the likes of the Hercules and Xena TV shows from the 1990’s all the way to Spartacus on Starz today. Immortals, which was released late last year, fits the mold well.

Immortals is the story of Theseus versus Hyperion. King Hyperion is ravaging his was across Greece on the hunt for a legendary bow that has the power to unleash the Titans on humanity. If he succeeds then it means the end of mankind. The god Zeus favors Theseus, seeing the best of humanity in him. Over the years he’s been gently guiding Theseus, preparing him for this time when he is most needed.

The film most resembles the movie 300 with its digital backgrounds and blood. I really like the look, it’s a very grand and silky looking world, even when shown the most barren of landscapes. Henry Cavill as Theseus is really good and I love Mickey Rourke as Hyperion. He’s a great actor for a villain and unlike Iron Man 2, he’s used to great affect here. The action scenes are rather quick, but there’s good amount of them and each one is fun to watch. The score is a perfect fit as well, making for a fun movie. It runs about an hour and 45 minutes, which I thought was perfect. A well made film, even if it is a bit by the numbers. I’d put this easily above Colombiana if you are looking for an action movie to watch.

Colombiana the Review

The joys of an assassin movie! Assassins always seem to be bigger than life, a super hero or a brutal villain. It lends itself to the spy genre so you get the chance of sneaky characters, twisting plots and excellent action scenes. Often hit or miss from picture to picture, Colombiana lands right in the middle….average at best.

There’s nothing new or terribly interesting going on in Colombiana. Zoe Saldana plays the lead, Cataleya, who witnesses her parents death by the drug cartel that her father worked for. Swearing revenge, her career in death starts many years later, always with her eyes on the man that ordered her parents death. That’s it. Every plot point you are thinking of right now, happens. It’s a paint by the numbers story with the requisite action, the superfluous love interest and some goofy stuff (her attack dogs) stuck in for some flavor.

Now, it’s not a bad movie. It’s well made (the direction in the first chase scene was amateur at best though), well acted and the action is serviceable. A good rainy day rental, but if you skip it, you aren’t missing anything.

Hugo the Review

Hugowas a big favorite at this years Oscar awards. Director Martin Scorsese marks his first kids and 3D theatrical release in his long, historic career.

Hugo Cabret is an orphan who lives behind the walls of a train station in 1930’s Paris. When his father tragically dies, his uncle comes to pick him up to live and work at the train station. Bringing only the clothes on his back and the automation that he and his father were working to fix, Hugo learns to keep all the clocks running in the station. The mystery of the automation and another resident of the train station collide in front of Hugo, leading him down a new path of his young life.

This was a pretty cool movie and the 3D work has been alleged to been tops, but I watched it in trusty 2D. The main stars, Asa Butterfield and Chloe Grace Moretz are two of the best child actors working today. The whole movie rides on them and they’re both stars (Chloe in particular is really fantastic, she’s starting to blow up and should have a hell of a career). My only complaint is that the movie takes way too long to really get going. It’s a slow build up to what is a real treat of a late second to third act where everything comes together and the story telling is compelling and interesting. There’s a good 10-15 minutes of meandering that could have been trimmed. I could see it boring any young viewers who would never make it to the end. That said, it’s a good movie that really shows Scorsese love and care of cinema.

Avengers the Review

It feels a bit redundant to write a review of Marvel’s Avengers at this point since the entire country turn out this weekend and loved it. So I’ll just throw on some more praise to the pile.

Easily the best Marvel movie, if not the best comic book movie made yet. The Avengers is a huge movie with 6 major superheros throwing their weight around. It’s been a long time coming, the pieces of this adventure being put in place in the last 5 Marvel movies. Now, with an external threat to Earth, only the power of the Avengers can save us!

Writer/Director/Champion of the Nerds, Joss Whedon carefully crafted and brought to life an amazing ensamble of superheros. He juggles these characters in both dialog and action so well he should get an award just for that. It could have been a disaster (see X-Men 3) but his knowledge and love for these decades old characters shines through at every turn. They’re all distinct people with their own issues despite their tremendous physical and mental capabilities.

Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner/Hulk is my favorite. He’s the newest cast member (he’s the third actor to take the role) and he portrays the stress of holding the Hulk within him so well, you’d swear he’s not acting. The talk between Tony Stark (the always popular Robert Downey Jr.) and Bruce Banner in the lab was a real stand out for me. Two guys on the same wave length with seemingly opposite problems are actually shown to be pretty similar. Plus, when the Hulk shows up he steals every scene. His action segments are the best and Joss gave him some of the funniest moments in the movie.

One character never completely dominates the movie though. They all get their time to shine: alone, as a pair or in a group. Everyone is used and used well, the dialog is very sharp and surprisingly funny. We finally get to see Iron Man really do his thing in action (something I thought his two movies never did enough of) as well as Hawkeye and Black Widow.

The final act is really exceptional, with so much careful planning and foresight. It’s a massive action set piece in the NYC and the clarity and pace is second to none. There is so much going on, the Avengers are constantly engaged in different places and in different groupings, but you never get lost. You watch as they take down bad guys by themselves, then quickly see a team member help them out with such beautiful power and choreography. Iron Man and Captain America work together on the street at one point while Hulk and Thor just crush together while zooming around on enemy aircraft. Assaults from all sides, all the time! Truly something to behold. I found myself smiling all the time as they worked together in these brilliant ways.

It’s about 2 hours and 20 minutes long and any complaints are really just nitpicking. It takes a bit for the movie to really get rolling and you can think of more than a few plot holes (as is the case where you are dealing with super heroes. You need to just accept some things and keep going) if you really dissect it. The good far outweighs the bad and a new bar for comic book movies has been set.

The Cabin in the Woods the Review

Simply one of the best horror movies to come out in years. That’s my summary. Cabin is such a fun and inventive take on horror movies. The core of the movie is why people are horror fans; it’s intense, it’s creative, it’s funny. it keeps you guessing and you see people get fucked up.

It’s a mash up of the entire horror genre. The set up has been done forever: five college kids go to a cabin in the woods for a weekend break. Bad, mysterious things happen to be at the cabin waiting for them. The explanation and execution for the madness is such a good idea that it’s amazing it hasn’t been thought of before. But that’s usually the case, brilliant stuff is usually really simple and straight forward, it just takes the right mind to come up with it.

It’s best if that’s all you know about the movie before seeing it. The screenwriters tip their hat to countless horror movies and their established hooks and cliches. It’s like a amusement park ride that never physically moves you, but when it’s done you have a stupid grin on your face. Joss Whedon is on an unbelievable roll. Go see it!

The Cannonball Loop

New Jersey is full of urban legends, Action Park being one of them. But it’s not a legend, that place was real and it was CRAZY. Not in the good way. It was a water park built on a ski resort that had little to do with safety in mind when it was built. It’s hard to believe that the place was allowed to be opened let alone in use for nearly 20 years. I mean, people showed up every summer despite 6 deaths and countless injuries (mostly ripped flesh). The stories about the place were rampant and often exaggerated, but most of it had a true story behind it. It got the name “Traction Park” for a real reason. They advertised the shit out of the place too.

Cannonball Loop is the most notorious. And dangerous. I went to Action Park once, but drove by it a lot as it was on the way to my grandma’s house. I vividly remember seeing it there, long since closed. It was something that looked like it never should have been built, there was just no way it could work. I also remember wondering why there was no pool at the end of it, just this plot of land. It was like a torture device that was just left to rot. That article explains it. I remember getting a weird vibe from the place too, it just didn’t feel like a safe place. A lot of rickety construction, literal holes of water that had been turned into “rides” by putting a plank and a rope swing over a 20 foot drop. The place was a dump, I mean they left Cannonball Loop standing because it would have cost money to send it back to hell. I haven’t even mentioned the Alpine (read: concrete) Slide. That thing messed people up.

More in depth horror here! You have to read it to believe it.

Rise From Your Grave

I was sick for most of April. Started as a stomach virus early on that I thought I made through in about 24 hours. That thing hung on to me and tried to rearrange my DNA. A vice like grip on my stomach which spawned into acid reflux (horrible and bewildering if you’ve never had it) made me afraid to eat. Which is a also a horrible feeling to have. You eat every day and it’s generally really enjoyable, but when you are convinced it’s going to make you feel like hell, not so much. That gave me anxiety along with some other real world stress. I’d be sick and then feel fine for about a week and then it came back again with a vengeance. The passed 2 weeks I was sick pretty much every day with some relief here and there. I went to the doctor on my birthday, then 4 days later. Just getting medicine to get a handle on this was stupid (wrong dosage from a stupefying lack of communication between Dr. and pharmacist).

I think I have it behind me now. Of course I pulled a groin muscle on Friday night, but that wasn’t too bad. 3-4 days for that to heal, nothing like my January blitzkrieg. It’s been a dumb 2012 so far, but I’m starting to feel like I’m getting myself back now. That feels good. You don’t realize how important something is until it stops working.