Last Friday I had my bottom two wisdom teeth removed. While not the horror show I thought it would be, the experience can still be summed up as: it sucks.

Novocaine was used, no knock out juice. The procedure itself was fast, I think 20 minutes. While there’s little to no pain during it, the sounds are super gross. The smell of ground teeth from the drill is horrific.

Pain-wise, it’s not bad. I’d say it’s uncomfortable and Tylenol with Codeine takes care of the worst of it. I’ve had strange flare ups of pain, but it feels more like I’ve been punched in the face one a day for the past week. The swelling is the worst as it just makes you feel annoyed more than anything else. The weird thing is that where the teeth were removed from has hurt the least. The swelling is all over the bottom gums. The whole mouth freaks out from the trauma. Speech has been impaired and eating has lost all of its joy. I’m very conscious of chewing differently to keep food away from the back. My biggest problem is that that I haven’t regained feeling on the lower left side.

My biggest problem is that that I haven’t regained feeling on the lower left side. The entire lip from corner to middle of my face and down about an inch and a half is numb. Two teeth in the front feel super weird like the novocaine hasn’t worn off yet. The nerve on that side is all goofed up from the swelling (most likely, it better be) so I’m basically on a wait and see how everything heals for everything to come back to normal (the stuff on the consent form is some nightmare stuff).

It’s been a week today which seems to be the major milestone for this type of surgery. Everyone is going to be messed up for that long so the next few days should see the biggest improvements. Monday I get the stitches out, looking forward to that.

Now, how stupid is this whole thing? Our jaws aren’t big enough for all the teeth we naturally grow. Over 90% of people need their wisdom teeth removed or they cause serious problems. And who’s the dope that named them ‘wisdom’ teeth? Where is the wisdom in this useless and miserable body part?

I still need the top two out. Maybe I can convince my body to absorb them.