The Expendables the Review

The Expendables is the mother of all action movies! Cast wise anyway. Stallone, Jet Li, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundren, Bruce Willis and Schwarzenegger (in cameos) and few “new” action stars to fill out the rest.

Stallon built a movie around a team of bad ass dudes with a tip of the hat to 80’s action movies. These guys are mercs, ready to take off and bust shit up with the right amount of pay behind it. Off to South America where a dictator with a US FBI agent gone rogue cohort is kick starting a drug ring. Seeing a good reason to fight, Sly brings his team in.

It’s an easy action movie to digest, with some really cool moments. Everyone does their parts well, with some guys getting ignored more than others. But for the action pedigree behind it, how did this movie come out with such terrible direction and editing in the action scenes? The old crutch of “shoot close and cut as fast as possible” is out of control. Jet Li might have some fantastic choreography in his fight scenes but it’s cut so fast you don’t know what’s going on. The finale is a good 15 minutes of mayhem, but the scenes are shot so dark, close and fast that I couldn’t tell who was who. Doesn’t help that everyone is wearing the exact same thing. I was confusing Jet Li with dudes who are at least a foot taller than him. It just turns into a mess of people running around, with no sense of where are what anyone is doing.

Worth a rental and not much more. A sequel could (and should) be made a lot better.

Movie Lightning Round Part 2

The Karate Kid– Reboot! A well done one which is always good to see. Jaden Smith is on his way to being a star, I’m sure he’ll just get better with age. There are a few lines where his father posseses his body for a few yucks and there are a skant few eye rolling moments, but it was a touching fish out of water story. It was a huge move on getting Jackie Chan to take on the Mr. Miyagi role. I love him as it as and he brought a believable and soft touch to his mentor character. Looks like Jaden really worked his ass off in training, the action scenes were well done, if few and far between. Long run time though, more than 2 hours for this is really pushing it, but it was never obnoxious. The original is pretty dated now, I really don’t think anyone got too up in arms and yelled “blasphemy!” on this reboot. Helps a lot that it turned out well.

Green Zone– Director Paul Greengrass and the always enjoyable Matt Damon re-team to make a non-Bourne movie. This one takes place in the Middle East when US forces when on the hunt for the Weapons of Mass Destruction back in 2003. Here we see the false information “first hand” as the US Army whirls around looking for the shit that was never there. I didn’t see anything really wrong with the movie, Greengrass managed not to shake a hand held camera until it broke, so that’s a treat. Matt is one of the best actors in Hollywood working today and this movie fits into his resume nicely. It’s a fast paced movie with lots of running around, shoot outs, secrets and lies. Worth checking out.

Hot Tub Time Machine– Four long time friends take a retreat to their old ski lodge in the mountains hang out where they unwittingly take a ride through time thanks to the hot tube in their suite. They’re brought back to the 80’s and have a chance to relive and change what they did 30 years ago. It’s a goofy premise and a goofy movie. They wisely don’t take themselves too seriously and don’t fall on the old crutch of “Hey that cell phone is HUGE!” type gags. Nothing is beaten into the ground so there is nothing that’ll make you shut the movie off in disgust. It’s got a strong cast, but it’s a love it or hate it movie. Certainly helps if you were alive in the 80’s. I enjoyed it, funnier than I thought it was going to be, but honestly I thought it was going to be a complete bomb.

Clash of the Titans– Hollywood Summer Blockbuster. The less you pay to watch it, the better you feel by the end of it. Greek mythology generally entertains me and I like Sam Worthington as Perseus. He looks like a guy who could handle the gods wrath. There is more CG at play here than you can shake a stick at and it’s mostly very good. The 3D conversion for the theatrical run was reportedly a complete disaster, but that eye sore wasn’t at play here. Gigantic action set pieces, epic score, the stuff only Hollywood excels at.

Cop Out– More disappointing than anything. You would think Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan could work in a buddy cop movie but it’s…boring. Bruce Willis is just running through the numbers and Tracy Morgan is wacky. Terrific. Just no good jokes for them to work with. Seann William Scott is the best part of the movie and he has a tiny role. Kevin Smith directs and it’s nothing special there (shocking, I know). He’s got some terrible music choices that are so dated and cliche it’s silly. Can’t recommend it.

Movie Lightning Round

I’ve watched a lot of stuff in the passed 2 months or so, here’s the skinny.

The Last Airbender Based on the first season of the Nickelodeon cartoon, “Avatar: The Last Airbender” this movie probably shouldn’t have been made. Regardless of who was involved in it, I think the show is just too much to fit into a movie, even as a trilogy. That pretty much shows up in the final product. The movie got horrific reviews, but I didn’t think it was that bad. The problem is, the movie was the skeleton of the TV show, the bare plot points to get the story to the end. The show lived on the brilliant characters that you followed and learned to love. Everyone has a story arc and that was missing from this movie. You don’t understand who anyone really is, where they are from and how they interact each other. The first season is 20 episodes, the whole show is really an epic tale. That sense of grandeur, the time, the locations, the people were totally absent from the movie. Technically it’s a well made movie, it just comes off as hallow. Watch the show instead.

Repo Men– In the not too distant future, replacing human organs is a routine procedure. Paying for them is the real challenge. Jude Law and Forest Whitaker star in this gruesome look at the future. Health and finances are on everyone’s minds these days, Repo Men is like an extreme take on where we could be headed. Repo Men are the ones who come for the companies property….you don’t own that new heart/living/kidney/other until you pay for it in full. What happens when a Repo Man becomes the person he usually cuts open? It’s a pretty cool idea with a mixed result. It’s hard to recommend to everyone (the uncut version I saw is pretty graphic) and the end leaves something to desire. It uses an old bait and switch technique to set you up for a twist, but it comes off as more of a stupid trick than anything else.

Predators– Predator has a really odd legacy to it. Everyone loves the first one, not much (cinema wise) has ever really lived up to it. From a decent sequel to some rather unconvincing spin offs with Aliens it seems like Hollywood has a hard time coming through with a solid monster movie with one of the coolest ideas for a monster around. Predators is a step in the right direction, it wasn’t as good as I hoped but there was some real fun to be had. The local is taken back to the jungle where a group of dangerous strangers are dropped into a battle ground foreign to them all. Team up to survive, or get picked off one by one. The movie retains a lot of what made the original so cool; the isolation, the uncertainty, the thrill of the hunt and the strategy to survive it. A fun cat and mouse game with a rather needless character twist near the end.

Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief– I actually abbreviated the title from it’s way too long title just so I would be able to write less about it. This is kind of unfair to say, but this book turned movie is just trying to be the next Harry Potter but it just feels like a pale imitation in everyway. Instead of magic there is a Greek mythology angle to the proceedings (which, to be fair HP pulls a lot of ideas from) but I couldn’t find a paper thin character to really like. Maybe Brandon Jackson’s character Grover who actually has personality and does manage to be funny sometimes (which is pretty clutch for the comic relief). Feels really generic and uninteresting.

The WolfmanThis one had a rough time during production and wasn’t really received well. It’s a straight up monster movie. Just take the old werewolf story you know, the same location you know and put in some characters you don’t know. Benicio Del Toro (I’m a fan) get’s bit by a werewolf that’s he was called in to investigate which basically ruins his day. They went with the gory horror route as this Wolfman is a rough individual who doesn’t go easy on anyone. You don’t see people get attacked, you see them get straight up mauled by a hell hound. That’s the long and short of it, you’re going to be interested in that or not. Anthony Hopkins holds it down as Del Toro’s father which was another treat. It’s unoriginal, but it was made well and it kept me entertained.

MacGruber– Yeah, it’s stupid. That’s why it was good. Don’t get me wrong, more jokes than not hit the dirt with a thud, but there is some really funny shit here. The movie started as a skit on SNL that’s obviously a spoof of the 1980’s TV show MacGyver. It’s pretty surprising it took so long for someone to make that movie, but here it is. It doesn’t take itself seriously, it just parodies everything it can and flings curses out every chance it gets. If you’ve got nothing better to do, you could do a lot worse than watching this. I’m a fan of what Will Forte does, so that makes me a bit biased on this one.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Review

Prince of Persia sits near the top of video game to movie translations. Normally that’s not saying much, but PoP: Sands of Time is a really fun movie. An adventure in the desert, PoP is one of the better summer movies this year.

Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) was just an orphan on the streets when he was picked by the King after defending his friend. He was given a home,love, a family. Growing to be a man, Dastan’s real troubles begin when he’s framed for the King’s murder. Dastan’s destiny is intertwined with princess Tamina (Gemma Arterton) who together must stop the villian bent on using the godly power of the Sands of Time to take over the world, which means armaggedon. It’s in the same vain as The Mummy which is another movie I really like (we won’t mention the sequel though).

It’s a really well made movie, it exceeded my expectations in pretty much every category. The writing is really well done, they captured the relationship of the Prince and Princess from the 2003 game that shares the same name (I highly recommend playing it, it’s one of the best games from the Xbox/PS2/Gamecube generation). They even have subtle nods to the game sprinkled throughout that don’t seem out of place or distracting if you know the source material or not. The plot, it’s twists and resolution were all really thought out and work without insulting the audience (hey Transformers). I really can’t think of anything to complain about. The FX are really good, action scenes are grandiose and the stunt work is done exceptionally well. Maybe I’m a sucker for sword fighting, but that mixed with the parkour action work really well together. Careful direction and editing keep things clear and moving along with a great soundtrack and cast (I think I have a crush on Gemma now) to round things out.

It’s a fun movie that I recommend to anyone looking for some easy to digest action. Sit back and enjoy!

My new mouse has arrived

Logitech did a pretty quick turnarond on replacing my G7 mouse (12 days with the holiday). My replacement G7 mouse broke after about a year (I got the first one in Nov. 2008 I think). I was never really that happy with it. Worked well enough, but swapping out the battery pack (which does take a few seconds) seemingly every other day was annoying. Paled in comparison to the MX10000 I had. That thing rocked.

The G7 is discontinued so Logitech sent me a G700 ($100 MSRP). I think I have the sensitivity the way I like now and you can customize the buttons for macros and stuff (it also holds 5 different profile settings). I probably won’t mess with the customization. It is REALLY comfortable in the hand. It fits perfectly and it moves around the desk surface really well. There is a rechargeable AA in there, the recharge cable doubles as the data cable, so it turns into a wired mouse when you plug it in. The charger fits flush into the top, you’d never know it was a wireless mouse looking at it. I got the mouse yesterday so I have no idea what the battery life is like yet.

TV Is Back: The Schedule

Clear out your DVR! Here’s where it’s at:

Mondays
Weeds on SHO @ 10PM
Sept. 20th Hawaii Five-O on CBS @ 10PM. Could be good?
The Event on NBC @ 9PM. Could be good

Tuesdays
Sons of Anarchy on FX @ 10PM

Wednesdays
Sept. 22nd Modern Family on ABC @ 9PM
Terriers on FX @ 10PM

Thursdays
Sept. 16th Always Sunny in Philly on FX @ 10PM
Sept. 23rd 30 Rock on NBC @ 8:30PM
The Office on NBC @ 9PM
Outsourced on NBC @ 9:30PM. Could be good?
Fringe on FOX @ 9PM
Community on NBC @ 8PM
Sept. 9 Nikita on CW @ 9PM. Could be good? It’s on CW…

Sundays
Sept. 19th Boardwalk Empire on HBO @ 9PM
Sept. 26th Dexter on SHO @ 9PM
Board to Death on HBO @ 10PM
Eastbound & Down on HBO @ 10:30PM
Oct. 31st The Walking Dead on AMC @ 10PM. Only 6 episodes.
All the cartoons on FOX

Summer is almost over

My favorite season always goes by so fast. Last week was a downer weather wise, it rained for about 4 days straight. That put a sour ending to an other wise fun visit from my sister and niece and nephew. Being cooped up in the house all day is no good for a 3 and 6 year old. The day after they left the sunshine came back and summer is now giving the Northeast at least one more heat wave. Been about 90 for the past 3 days but the humidity isn’t bad. Really nice, I’m enjoying it while it lasts.

Tomorrow is September already! Last quarter of the year and work is about to get really brutal.

Here’s Chloe’s latest life achievement!

Movie Review Lightning Round

I’ve seen a few movies lately that I think are better served as quick hit reviews than one of my full on blabber format.

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World is based on a comic book of the same name and is expertly directed by Edgar Wright (best known for Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz). SP is about a young Canadian man and his trouble with ladies. He starts dating a High School girl and then meets Ramona Flowers who he immediately becomes infatuated with; love at first sight. But she has more than her own baggage in tow! Enter the 7 Evil Exes that Scott must defeat in order to be with Romona. The world of Scott Pilgrim is rooted in video game fantasy. Everyone is a fighting master, super powers aren’t out of the ordinary and there are a ton of video game/anime references. It has a very narrow market (as seen by the box office results) but it’s a really well made movie. I like Michael Cera as Scott, the whole cast is great really. The soundtrack is tops (I’m listening to it now) but I was really impressed by the direction and special FX. Every dime they spent can be seen on screen. The CG is fantastic, the editing and direction are just eye popping, there isn’t a single boring cut in the movie. The fight Choregraphy is some wild shit too! Expertly made, there was a tremendous amount of time and love put into the production. It really looks like a comic book come to life. I dug it more than I thought I would, it’s exciting and pretty funny at parts as well.

Batman: Under The Red Hood is a direct to DVD animated feature. It rocks. A great story that involves Robin and Nightwing that just gets better as it goes a long. I was completely enthralled when the end credits hit. Production values that fit Batman; great animation, fantastic soundtrack, really well written and a tasteful amount of violence. Batman and Joker have new voice actors which I was worried about, but it didn’t take me long to get used to them (John DiMaggio does an incredible Joker laugh). Highly recommended for Batman fans.

The Princess and The Frog– I haven’t seen an animated Disney movie in awhile and this one was pretty good! Loved the animation, there is some crazy set pieces (mostly for the music numbers) with eye popping color work. It takes place in New Orleans so there is Jazz running all over the place which I really enjoyed. The songs are all pretty catchy (Dr. Facilier’s number being my favorite). The story is pretty standard fairy tale fare with a slight twist. Instead of the prince turning back into a man with a kiss, the girl gets turned into a frog which of course leads to a wild journey of danger and self enlightenment with a batch of colorful characters (Raymond the firefly rules). Good times.

Welcome to August

Summer is whipping right by. July did prove to be pretty epic, lots of fun events happened for me.

I’m currently addicted to Starcraft II, along with a few million other people. It’s been a long time since I bought a PC game and it was near impossible not to pick this up, 11 year wait for the sequel to one of my favorite games of all time. It lives up to it which is a great relief.

Speaking of addictions, I recently finished watching the entire Xena TV show from the 90’s. I watched the first 2 seasons or so when it first aired and stopped for whatever reason. Since seeing Lucy Lawless on Spartacus, it made me want to revisit the show and Netflix has them all up on Instant. So 6 seasons later I can say it was a pretty good show. I think it took me 5 months to get through and I gotta say I’m kind of bummed it’s over. The ending was pretty satisfying all in all (pretty logical for the message and direction of the show), but the episode before the last one was atrocious. The show probably would have been better at 5 seasons. 22 episodes per season is a lot, and cutting out the filler and bullshit episodes probably would equal 5 full seasons. The episode I mentioned above flashes forward to present day to try and fill a gaping plot hole from season 3 or 4. It was terrible. That plot hole should have been addressed right when it happened, not 2 season later with a horrible plot device to try and explain it. The section taking place in the “world” of Xena worked but everything in present day was terrible. Season 6 also went a step above in dark tones and violence, it was a strange tonal shift. The sloppy writing really kicked in in Season 5 and whenever they ran out of actual episodes with real plots there would be garbage episodes to get them to the end of the season where they knew how they wanted to end it. So avoiding the rough spots, it was a fun show and 15 years later I still have a crush on Lucy Lawless.

My Weird Windows 7 NIC restart bug update: It seems to be gone again. 5 restarts and the network kicked in right away. Maybe it’s the new FIOS router?