Almost bopped the shit out of a deer today on the way to work. Cruising at about 35mph, close to work. Enjoying the perfect weather as I see this thing standing on the right side of the road. Looks like a deer. IT IS. Full grown female. How stupid are these things? I’m getting closer and then it decides to run across the road hooves clomping and sliding along the pavement. I hit the breaks, juke to the right and miss this goofy broad by maybe 5 feet. It looked at me like “WHA?” as I continued on my way. Would have fucked up my car too, thank god I missed it.

How long have deer been wasting space up here? Centuries? Decades with cars. And they still don’t know how to cross the street? How is this easy and fundamental skill in life not being passed down by the ones that don’t get creamed? Why the fuck are these things deciding to bound in front of a massive object that is getting closer really fast? It’s not like they need to know “That’s a car, that’s a truck”, I think “That shit is big and dangerous” is easy and enough to know. Prey. It’s gotta be because they’re prey. Nothing but meat with eyeballs. Like cows. And rabbits.