Monthly Archives: October 2020

Halloween Movies Part 3

The Hunt (2020)- This movie got slapped with a wave of controversy for its political pitting of liberals vs conservatives in the United States. It was painted as a liberal revenge fantasy where it’s a much more clear takedown of our current political divisions and discourse.

Twelve strangers wake up in a field, are given weapons and suddenly start being shot at. Looking for answers and reasoning, the survivors of the first attack figure that they are all political conservatives and this is “Manorgate.” The rumor that’s been spreading over the internet is real: the liberal elite has created a human hunting program to kill their political and ideological enemies.

This movie takes no time in getting to the action and the point. Not a frame is wasted as it whips through its ideas in about 90 minutes. I like that this movie doesn’t preach, it gives you every hardcore left and right-wing stereotype unapologetically to show how stupid and goofy all of this is. It’s a work of satire that makes fun of everyone with absurdities and it doesn’t take itself seriously. Betty Gilpin as Crystal is the perfect anchor for everyone in the audience. She’s smart, funny, and much to the chagrin of Athena (great name), badass.

The biggest question of the movie is “how and why is this happening?!” gets a great answer at the end. This movie was way more fun than I thought it would be and really well put together. Pretty high on the gore scale and the fight choreography and fight direction are great! It’s insane in a Quentin Tarantino way.

Hansel & Gretel (2020)- Like most movies that have come out this year, Hansel & Gretel came and went without anyone really noticing it. I remember seeing the trailer for this some time ago and it struck me visually so I wanted to see it. Glad I did.

No surprise with the name, this movie is an adaptation of the fairytale. Here, Hansel & Gretel are basically thrown away by their mother and Gretel leads her little brother into the woods looking for work so they can survive. They soon cross paths with The Huntsman, who gives them directions through the woods to a town where they should find work and safety. He does tell them to stick to the path he gives them because if they stray at all, there are wolves all over the place who will attack them. Wolves aren’t the only danger living in the woods…

This cast is very small and they’re all great. Gretel is played by Sophia Lillis who has been getting a lot of big work with projects like the IT movies, the shows Sharp Objects and I Am Not Okay with This. She is fantastic as a big sister and watching her navigate the subtle seduction of the Witch is a harrowing experience. Alice Krige as the Witch is stellar as well. The combination of her performance and prosthetic make-up creates a memorable on-screen presence. Shout out to Jessica De Gouw who plays the young Witch, unfortunately, you don’t get to see much of her. When you do, she’s got some swagger!

The set design and direction really pop in this movie. The Witch’s house is simple, yet highly detailed and all atmosphere. The hidden part of the house that is revealed near the end of the second act is surreal but oddly believable (the dimensions are really weird. It’s a disturbing set even when nothing is happening in it). I don’t know big the budget was but they spent it in all the right places. The special effects sell what they need to and as a PG-13 movie, the scary bits run across a very fine line of creepy/gross and extremes. It would have been pretty easy to make this more explicit in visuals, you see just enough to make our imagination fill in the rest. The final scene with the Witch is completely awesome. Great take on this story, this movie turned out to be a spooky surprise!

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark– Based on the collection of short horror stories for children (!) by Alvin Schwartz, SSTD is a really fun monster movie. Set in 1968, Stella and her friends (and the new guy) accidentally wake up a malevolent spirit on Halloween. The race is on to save their lives.

Executive Produced by my man Guillermo del Toro, there’s a lot to like in this movie. It’s rated PG-13 and pushes that rating to the edge. There’s no intense violence or gore, but the monsters in this movie do not take their jobs lightly.

The set up is the basic material for unleashing an evil spirit, but everything else around the movie is really well done. The acting gets better as the movie goes on, the direction, cinematography, and special effects are always beautiful. The monsters (there are 6) are all stand out page to screen adaptations (except for Jangley Man, he’s a hybrid of a few monsters). Creepy, imposing, gross, everything you could want in 95% practical movie monsters played by people under a ton of prosthetics. The soundtrack is on point too. I think this is a great gateway movie for people to work up to the more intense and “adult” horror movies. It’s like the Fear Street series of books for horror–you start with R.L Stine and go to Stephen King. You go from this movie to John Carpenter’s The Thing. I think I liked this more than IT Part 2.

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight– This is a Polish take on Friday the 13th and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It does some things well and some things…alright. The set up to get the kids isolated in the woods is that they are all addicted to technology. They are all sent to this camp to “detox” and it doesn’t take long for the freak show hidden in the woods to swing by.

NSWT is a clear homage to a lot of 80s slasher movies. As such, it doesn’t do anything new or terribly interesting. There’s enough back story (given by a random dude who lives in the woods because that’s just what he does) to flesh out the villains and the cast is bumped off one by one through various pointy objects.

In terms of horror, the body count is pretty high. No innovative kills and the movie is edited mostly around showing any violence. If that’s due to ratings or budget, I don’t know. In elaborate deaths, such as someone getting cut in half, all you see is gore hitting the ground, or a death happens off-screen and a character turns around to suddenly see the aftermath. There are two or three explicit shots (one with a tongue) that are shown very fast that go for a hard R rating. With the lineage this movie is aiming for, I found it disappointing to see this edited like the MPAA of 1985 was back in full force. The prosthetic effects are well done though. The design done on the villains is extremely elaborate. The work on the bodies is a real stand out but the problem is that their faces are so bloated and scrunched (for some reason they are gigantic men, it can’t be fro what they are eating, I guess the implication is the infection or whatever it is), they have no articulation in them and it makes the characters look like a guy wearing a rubber mask. It takes away a lot of the intimidation when your murders look like inflated Cabbage Patch dolls.

Another disappointment is it’s not scary at all. Suspense is lacking too, which was surprising. The director tries but I think everything that happens is all too predictable. There is one standout scene in a cellar with the two main characters. Everything clicks there. The set up is great, the horror of it all works the best (some great practical effects work), the acting is terrific and it’s where a great hero turn happens.

I don’t want to sound so negative about this because I admire all of the hard work the filmmakers put into it. It’s clear they love the genre. I just think that it comes off as the side of 80s slasher movies they wanted to avoid: a copy cat movie that doesn’t stand on its own original ideas and is easy to forget.

Halloween-ish Movies Part 2

#Alive– This is a Korean movie about a lone survivor in an apartment complex from a rapidly spreading infection. The infected act just like those from the 28 Days Later franchise, so they are not your classic zombie. Very fast and aggressive, so the “rage” moniker fits. This could easily be seen as an offshoot of those movies.

I liked this a lot. While the carnage gets pretty big, the locations are kept at a minimum. Oh, our hero, starts the movie in his family’s apartment and remains there for most of the film. He sees the outbreak first spread from his balcony and on the TV news. The infection spreads so fast (people get bit with nary a hesitation) that Oh becomes trapped. These kinds of stories are hard to pull off well, pacing and suspense are crucial to get right and I think #Alive does both really well. You get a sense of danger right away. Oh quickly gets threatened inside his apartment and that kicks off his fight for survival. Oh never does anything really stupid, which helps. He takes risks for sure but they are all for good reasons and he prepares. Kim, a woman who is trapped in her apartment on the other side of the courtyard, is also introduced at just the right time. She’s a solid character and offers a new dimension to Oh’s fight for survival.

This movie is well made in all regards. Well acted, some great direction with fun action scenes that break up the quite character development. Special effects are great too making this a believable take on the genre. I even liked the end.

Hubie Halloween– This a stupid Adam Sandler joint. That’s all you need to know about this movie as it explains everything you can expect and you immediately know if you are in or out. This is a spiritual successor to The Water Boy. Hubie Dubois sounds and acts almost exactly the same as Bobby Boucher. He’s just older, moved to a different town, has a bicycle and he carries a Swiss army knife thermos (Inspector Gadget would be jealous) instead of a giant Gatorade dispenser.

The story checks all the boxes for a goofy Adam Sandler movie. The main character is an awkward but morally outstanding person who gets crapped on by everyone but his mother. There are more cameos than you can count. Jokes crammed in as fast as possible no matter how stupid and terrible they may be. Sometimes they do land! Throw in some slapstick to get the most basic laughs and cook for 90 minutes.

Hubie Halloween doesn’t take itself seriously and knows exactly what it’s doing. I found it to be pretty welcoming and refreshing because of that. Come take a break and let the dumb wash over you, you might be surprised at how much you needed it.

Scoob!– I was hoping this was going to be more Halloween-centric, but I still got a cute story with Scooby Do. The movie starts with how Shaggy and Scooby first meet and you better believe it’s adorable and sweet. Then they meet Fred, Velma, and Daphne on Halloween and stumble upon a criminal who they thwart. Now we have the genesis of Mystery Inc.

Years go by and the gang gets involved in a plot by Dirk Dastardly. He wants to open up a portal that can only be opened by Scooby. Much of the movie has Shaggy and Scooby separated from the rest and the bulk of the story is a test of the gang’s friendship. It’s very much a ‘You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone’ vibe.

It’s a good story! The animation is very good, the plot moves along as you’d expect and hits all the major notes for the franchise. There are some surprises here and there and it was nice to watch another movie that keeps its heart on its sleeve. Great for the kids.

I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House– A really creepy movie that I’m not sure what to make of. It’s slow and subtle to the point where my attention wandered off a few times. A ghost/haunting story that I had a hard time caring about.

Lily is a nurse that comes to live with an elderly author named Iris Blum. She wrote many horror books and lives in this house by herself. She needs to be cared for as she has dementia and it seems simple enough. Subtle oddities happen, each brings a new layer of foreboding. Lily soon finds out that the house is believed to be haunted and Iris always refers to her as “Polly.” Iris’s estate manager explains to her that Polly is the name of the character from Iris’s book “The Lady in the Walls.” This sends Lily onto a discover path that Polly might not be a fictional character and that Iris and Lily are not alone in the house.

The best part of this movie is the atmosphere. There is a thick sense of dread and darkness lurking about from the cinematography. The entire movie takes place in the house, you never leave the interior. The sound design is fantastic as well, further selling the house as a character. The creepy bits are great too. Mold on the wall that looks like it’s starting to take over the house and the challenge to get someone to the house to take care of it (the estate manager is the only other person you see enter the house). The corner of the rug that she repeatedly finds flipped up when she’s the only one walking around in the house and Lily is sure she’s not doing it. She’d know, she’d remember. The gag with the phone is perfect and scary. It’s the simple things done right.

Aside from that, everything else is forgettable and dull. There are bits that grabbed me but the movie as a whole couldn’t keep me engaged. It’s a strange feeling which makes me come to the conclusion that I think it would be better as a short instead of feature length film. I didn’t like the end either. It came off as a ‘that’s it?’ moment to me.

It’s Halloween Time

A slacked off on my horror movie run last October and my goal is to get back on track for Halloween 2020.

Vampires vs the Bronx– This movie popped up in the new releases on Netflix and I decided to watch it on a whim. A pleasant surprise, it’s a lot of fun. A PG-13 comedy/horror movie that is good to watch for a lot of people. The only reason it’s PG-13 is for some cursing. Violence is at a minimum and I can’t remember any gore. The most intense effects are vampires turning to ash.

A really cute movie of a couple of kids protecting their home town from vampires. The vampires are moving into the Bronx using gentrification as a cover. Their human familiar is buying up property all over the Bronx and turning those spaces into nests. Miguel Rodriguez is the first to discover that vampires exist and when he brings his friends into it the investigation, the discover the insidious plot and take charge in protecting their home. It’s got some funny parts, is well paced and at about 80 minutes long, just the right runtime.

The Invisible Man (2020)- This turned out way better than I thought it would. Smart modern twist, great cast, and excellent tension building scenes.

The movie starts with Cecilia (Elizabeth Moss) escaping her abusive husband, Adrian. She hides at a friend’s house and only her sister knows she’s there. Cecilia planned each step of her escape, paranoid Adrian will find her. Not long after, he commits suicide and leaves her a large part of his estate. Cecilia is suspicious as Adrian was a control freak so suicide doesn’t make any sense and she quickly becomes paranoid that she’s being watch and Adrian faked his death. Suspicious events suddenly turn violent and Cecilia is forced to prove on her own that Adrian is invisibly hunting her.

There is some fantastic direction in this movie, especially at the start. The special effect is that someone is invisible so they could be anywhere. The camera moves around like it’s as suspicious as Cecilia is, that someone else is somewhere in the room with us. You look down hallways, into corners, at furniture and rugs for the indication of the weight of a person. This movie nails paranoia, which is one effective scary emotion. The escalation of danger and intensity is also fantastic. I really like the pacing as it ratchets up at just the right time and just the right way. I was engaged the entire time and surprised more than once (in terms of scares and plot). Great special effects make it believable too. There are two scenes of intense gore, the rest is pretty tame.

The Devil All the Time– I’m cheating on putting this one in the list as technically it isn’t a horror movie. It’s a messed up crime/thriller that will throw you into a pit of yuck.

Essentially, Arvin has a terrible childhood to teenage years that’s affected by a serial killer and doesn’t know it. He crosses paths with the killer years later in some kind of macabre twist of fate. Arvin grows up extremely poor with a father that is bent on some serious levels of faith belief. When his mother dies of cancer, his father spirals out of control and he goes to live with family members who are also taking care of his cousin whose mother disappeared.

This is a bleak movie where the main character struggles to live a happy life because of incredibly sinister people. With so much pain to deal with, Arvin becomes a protector. One of the things he learns from his father is to pick your battles. And when you do, you make sure it’s clear that you won the battle. This becomes his core survival technique.

I found this to be a pretty enthralling movie with engrossing stories of people being manipulated with faith, trust, and sometimes basic politeness. Throw in some police corruption and you have three stories that start in different places and times that all come together. The boy who plays Arvin at age 9 is fantastic and older Arvin is played by Tom Holland who keeps impressing me with every role he does. Props to Robert Pattinson for bringing to life uber creep Rev. Preston Teagardin. With a lot of memorable characters that travel in extremes, this one stuck with me.

The Babysitter: Killer Queen– I liked The Babysitter (2017) a lot when it came out. A good send up to 80s horror movies, with its mix of horror and comedy. While it’s not a surprise that this movie could get a sequel, I was surprised that it was made and it turned out this way. The weird scenario takes away a lot of the potential making this feel cheaper and forced.

After surviving the cult of the first movie, Cole is now in high school. To say he’s been traumatized is an understatement and no one believes him about what happened because all of the proof of the cult disappeared. So he’s the ultra weird kid in high school and that doesn’t help with his recovery. He’s invited to go to a big party at a lake which he reluctantly goes to. Low and behold, the cult is ready and waiting for him.

The Babysitter took place almost exclusively in Cole’s house. A small scale horror movie that put all of its money into wild SFX. Terrific action and death scenes, perfect for the genre. Killer Queen expands the mythology of the cult and adds locations to make the story bigger. But it doesn’t work too well. Most of the movie takes place in/around a lake that’s surrounded by nothing but dirt and rocks. At the start of the party, it looks like there are a lot of kids and in a matter of seconds, everyone is gone. The story goes from the interior of a boat to a chase away from the lake. It’s very isolating so it doesn’t add anything to the scale of the movie. Plus, every outdoor scene looks like a phony set because there is no way to light the scene realistically with where they are. You can see the giant lights they had to set up. The locations also limited what could be done for deaths so a few of those feel weak as well.

Overall, a disappointment. A stretch to make a sequel, no suspense whatsoever…I think the only thing I liked was the end which was rather touching. It would be best to leave this franchise here.

The End of an Era

Henrik Lundqvist time with the New York Rangers is over. Since 2005 he has been the landmark of the team, playing in New York for his entire professional career. He holds almost every goalie record for the team and his career stats in the league are all near the top. This is been a possibility for a year now and it’s a sad day. He is a legend.

The last year of his contract has been bought out so he now a free agent. He can be signed by any team that needs him or he could retire. It’s impossible to say what will happen. He does still want to play and there will be a lot of goalies on the market this off season (I think it’s like 8 with Hank included) so it’s all up in the air. It’ll be really weird to see him on another team.

Ideally, he’d end his career by retiring with the Rangers, with the final trophy for his collection, the Stanley Cup. So this feels like a let down. The front office has decided that he isn’t worth his salary any longer (one of the highest paid goalies in the league) and Shesterkin and Georgiev can guard the net together. Shesterkin is the future, Georgiev is getting better and better and you can’t have Hank be a backup while paying him starter money. The COVID shutdown put the squeeze on the salary cap so there’s little choice. It makes sense but it’s a hard pill to swallow.

Lundqvist has more highlights than you can shake a hockey stick at. His number will absolutely be retired at Madison Square Garden. With this whole mess he’s not going to get the proper public send off he deserves and that’s gross. I don’t think the organization will let that stand though. I think when he does decided to retire from the NHL and we can pack stadiums again, they’ll throw the ceremony The King rightfully deserves.